In light of Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker’s recent announcement that she’s a sexist…
Shovels. Men want shovels, the bigger the better, Parker wrote in her column, “Men: The Original Shovel-Ready Project.”
We just want to be useful, Parker thunk, so all the snow in D.C. has been great, because now there’s a reason for allowing men to take up all this oxygen we’ve been using.
“Add to the cultural shifts our recent economic woes, which have left more men than women without jobs, and men are all the more riveted by opportunities to be useful.”
Oh, YEAH, I bet the men of Washington, D.C., LOVED shoveling two-foot deep snow for hours on end in sub-freezing temperatures. Good to be useful.
It’s a huge secret, but men also love being useful in other ways, like:
Jacking the car up and moving the front tires to the back and the back tires to the front, so you, Kathleen, can have a smoother ride to the latte shoppe.
Rolling the garbage and recycling bins to the curb (just showing off the ol’ master’s degree, Kathleen, so you don’t have to).
Reaching our hands into the back of the toilet when the chain holding up that other thing gets stuck (turns you on, doesn’t it Kathleen, when us men-folk have toilet water dripping from our hands).
Finally moving that bush that the previous owners left to the back corner of the yard (like you asked last spring, Kathleen).
And, again, yes, shoveling snow…so you, Kathleen, can stay in the house and watch a man shoveling your walk, and write about it, and pretend to be an enlightened columnist.