MyThreeDaughters

I heard this thing on NPR about people who try online dating, and how some of them pay professional profile consultants to write their blurbs. Professionals who know to write “enjoy the outdoors” instead of “live in a tent.” And people who understand the opposite sex.
They charge as much as $2,200, but the NPR interviewer in his NPR-y dry style allowed that gaining true understanding of the opposite sex might be a “relative bargain” for two grand.
Around here, I get a boat-load of such advice, and I don’t even have to pay for it.
Why just this morning, for instance, Fontaine was dragging butt as usual getting out of the house for school. I, her driver, was as usual trying to lay low and be calm but eventually my head exploded and I turned into a drill sergeant.
COME ON!
WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW!
LET’S GO!
We walk out the front door onto the porch.
She turns around to say goodbye to Mom for the 27th time.
We make it down the steps to the sidewalk.
C’MON, WE HAVE FOUR MINUTES TO GET THERE.
She strolls at a pace that indicates she wants to relish every second of this lovely moment of her childhood.
School starts at 8:15, Fontaine. It’s not my rule!
“Daddy,” she says, calmly, explaining, “you can’t rush a lady.”
That one stopped me for a moment. Where the heck did she get that? She’s six.
O.K., Lady, just get in the car.
Twenty-two hundred dollars, was it?