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Archive for October, 2008

I was hopin, just hopin, that this bein 2008, the girls could grow up in a world in which it was O.K. for girls to be smart. I never thought much about this, bein a guy, and it bein O.K. to be smart, but now I have three girls. Animg_Oct_08_2008_39_43d I’m thinkin.
And I’m wonderin if Sarah Palin doesn’t think it’s O.K. I mean, seriously, has she ever pronounced a g at the end of a word? Or is she tryin that hard to seem like someone Joe Six-Pack would like to be partyin with? (I know what you’re thinkin, but anyone who doesn’t mind droppin the g so much probably wouldn’t have a problem endin a sentence with a preposition.)
Yes, everybody drops a g once in a while (or else the phrase, “chillin like a villain” wouldn’t even rhyme, and that would be a crime).
But I’m startin to think her name is really “Sarah Paling” and she just dropped the g forever.
Now, to be fair (which I’m hatin doin), she’s not the only one doin this.
In a few short minutes today, I jotted down Barack Obama sayin, “…talkin tough about earmarks.” And I heard John McCain sayin, “…that’s what America’s been doin.”
So maybe it’s not just women, maybe it’s not cool in America to be obviously smart anymore.
Or maybe it’s just that times are tough. People are havin to cut back wherever they can. And if you can save a g here and a  g there, it really adds up.

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First off, anybody who gets that sub-head: Ha, ha, you’re as old as I am. How big was your hair in 1978?img_Oct_02_2008_13_09
Anyway, there’s been a shift-change here at Chez Wagner. Had this thing going for a while where the baby (Lilla, the Lillanator, like the Terminator, actually answers to “Nator”) was up three times a night, around 11, 2:30 and 5.
Ah, babies, aren’t they so cute? Just loving you so much that they want to kick it with you every three hours around the clock.
So we rocked and rolled with that for about more than a year/forever, then we started sending me in in the middle of the night and, being breast-less, I wasn’t of as much interest as the wife. So the baby is up less.
Shift change.
Fontaine overheard some neighbors talking about a possible fox in the neighborhood (somebody who had illegal chickens right here in the heart of the city came out one morning and found chicken salad). Now Fontaine allegedly thinks a fox is stalking her at night.
And for some reason, Elizabeth has been coming in to join us around 5 a.m. To soothe herself, she sucks her thumb. Sucks it so hard it sounds like she could suck paint off a Coke can, like the sound of a cartoon kiss.
Hard to sleep hearing that.
I’m going to get them someday.
Picture it: Teenagers. Saturday morning after a school dance. Maybe 7 a.m.
Me.
A gas-powered leaf blower.
Outside their bedroom windows.

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